Miss Mallory Meredith's Misinterpretations and Follies (Obscenities Included!)

And I am (kind of) going for speed.

Where to Go

Yesterday during lunch, I quickly crammed together the basics of what I will be doing on my trip.


I….may die on this trip. If I don’t make it, tell everyone they have to play Irish music while eating ice cream at my funeral.

Google says it is 1271km. Since I’m in America, the nation that refuses to play by the world’s rules, that is converted into 789.763 miles.

I assume it will take me maybe 30 days to walk, but only from what I’ve read and reasoned with. This isn’t including if there is a crazy rainy day, if I get sidetracked by some gorgeous site, or if I were to run into The Doctor on my travels. One could argue that The Doctor could just bring me back to the exact time after we’re finished, but seeing his track record, I’m going to play it safe and say that I probably wouldn’t finish the pilgrimage if this sort of thing were to happen.


On the off-chance the 10th doctor wouldn’t be picking me up for an adventure and then dropping me off ten years later when people think I’ve been taken to never be found again, I decided to see how many miles I needed to make it a day if I wanted to make the goal of 30-days: 26.3254.

Then I started to get worried because holy fuck that is a lot of mileage. That is far and beyond 10,000 steps a day, and the 5k I typically run 3-4 times a week.

So then I immediately started doing the math to see how fast I’d have to be walking in order to get this far. The first week I had heard would be grueling because your body isn’t used to it, but then it was supposed to get easier as your body settled into the routine. What if I couldn’t handle it? What if I just decided to lay in the middle of the road and wait for nature to take it’s course? Like lions and tigers to eat me? Because France/Spain totally have a tiger and lion problem.

Note to self: Look up nature problems in France and Spain. You know, so I don’t die from fright when I see a huge spider trying to cuddle with me in the night.


I’m not even going to post a picture/gif of what that may be because I just Googled it and freaked myself out. Why do I do these things to myself?!

I’ve gotten off track. Where was I? Pacing. Right.

I guesstimate the average walk is maybe 3mph? Which looks to be true from doing a bit of research (I’m doing a lot of Googling). Which means that, actually, I could do 26 miles in 8 hours non-stop, 10-11 hours as I assume I will be taking some breaks.

This doesn’t sound so bad, but then one has to remember that the average American doesn’t walk 26.3254 miles daily. No breaks. However, this is completely within reason.

I just need to add that I’ll be carrying 30 pounds in a hiking backpack and we’ll be just fine.


After finding myself capable of going the distance, I then started thinking about money. I’d be carrying the basics while on this trip, so anything that I can simply not carry would be wonderful. Like 30 days worth of meals.

Plus, while I’ll be carrying a simple tent, I can imagine that there may be one day that I would want to have a mattress, or even a shower. In fact, some form of bathing every day would be decent, although I don’t expect it.

But it all adds up.

Luckily, there’s a website for that.

If you went to it, you’ll see that it quickly says you have two options: the cheap or the expensive. It all depends on your choices, but one could actually live on 15 euros a day or up to 30 euros a day.

But I’m American, so, that’s $20.23-$40.46 daily. At least, that is the exchange rate right now. Who knows where we’ll be at in a year, when the apocalypse is surly to take place.

Good gods. What if the zombie apocalypse takes place while I am trying to trek across the land on a spiritual journey? Is that considered irony? Or just bad luck?

It makes me cringe to think about since my groceries span out to under $5 a day, $10 if I am being fancy, but it makes sense since I won’t be cooking at home for 30 days. Which means $606.90-$1,213.80 for 30 days.


Just to be fancy, I checked out what it would cost in case I decided to just drop the mic and buy a ticket to go at the end of August: $1,300.00-$1,436.00

I could do this trip now. It’d be about $1,906.90 – $2,513.80 respectively.

Basically, it has been very difficult to not just drop the mic and go. But I have other financial obligations, a job, and I need to make sure I have enough gear to get to across 790 miles of terrain first.

Does anyone know any millionaires?


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