Miss Mallory Meredith's Misinterpretations and Follies (Obscenities Included!)

It’s getting to be “go” time for me getting to New Zealand. I should clarify. It’s getting to be “go” time for me, inside my own head, getting to New Zealand. Because I’m still waiting for a job to get me there, although I may have a solution up my sleeve.

I had a second rejection waiting in my mailbox when I woke up this morning, but it wasn’t too much of a surprise — I applied for over twenty jobs, and most of them were “I know I could do this, but I guarantee that I won’t be hired based off of experience.” This was one of those situations.

Based off of experience. I’ve never fully understood this answer. Mostly because any time I’ve been told this, the only way to get experience is by finally getting the job in the first place. Like when I wanted to be a waitress, a typical job to get while in college. I was 18, it was summer, they only needed extra summer staff. However, I applied for several locations (all small establishments), and all refused because I didn’t have any experience. How am I supposed to get experience if no one would hire me in the first place?

Fun fact, I finally did get a waitress job, and I ended up hating it. Not because of the waitress part, but because I was also told to be a bartender and cook in all the same breath. Having never done those jobs either, needless to say, I was overwhelmed and thinking I was the worst person in the whole world. Looking back, I now realize that any person who was learning from scratch and being demanded to learn how to cook, tend a bar, and be a full blown waitress/hostess at the same time would have been just as successful. I’ll never be a waitress again, however.

But the pisser is, this was a social media type position. While I may only have knowledge that I got in my Mass Comm minor to place on my resume, these are things I could do. The positions are described as needing someone who is fluent in Twitter, Facebook, and Blogging, and helping their business on those forefronts. Not only am I fluent, but I was part of the generation that started these things. We lifted them off the ground. We were using dial-up to get into chat rooms at the age of twelve — when AOL was new, and pretty much the only thing you could use to get on the internet.

For the gods’ sake, we were there when Peanut Butter Jelly Time first came out, and we waited 10-15 minutes for a flash player to load so we could watch Homestar Runner. Our days were spent trying to figure out websites cluttered with 8-bit images, moving background that got us sick if we stared at them too long, and midi-file songs — all dedicated to a hobby that was easy to find since there were maybe ten other websites dedicated to the same thing.

And we transitioned to the internet that we know today. We know how to use a hashtag, meme, and gif to our advantage, unlike the adults who think they get it.

For example, the First World Problems Crying Girl meme:

Capture (2)

That’s…your first world problem? I…um… Huh.

These advertisers are probably patting themselves on the back for using something this young generation can relate to. I am mostly hoping that the reasons why they keep using meme images is due to the fact that they’re free pictures, not that they’re trying to really create a meme to sell their product. These are the lies I tell myself to set my mind at ease.

The point is, looking around to see how companies interact with their clients via social media is typically a disaster, unless they embrace the new generation’s way of communicating. You can’t use old communication methods on social media because the older generation doesn’t understand it — and those in the older generation that do understand it will want the new way to communicate.

Some companies pick up on this, such as Delta, Taco Bell, and several others. I once cackled in delight as I watched The Bloggess and Kraken Rum discuss her need for a tentacle they used to display their rum at the liquor store — because that is how you play the game on social media (side note: she didn’t get the tentacle, but they did send her a Kraken umbrella).

I’ve seen articles stating we should follow certain companies on social media because they share their deals, but that isn’t what we come for. We come for the interactions, and if you play your cards right, you’ll get free advertising as we talk about you, and perhaps even purchase your product out of respect.

The point is, jobs not hiring due to inexperience can be considered legit. But with social media?  Many companies are just doing it wrong. You need someone who can scope the internet and respond appropriately. immediately, and, basically, someone like me. Because I’m awesome.

It is also quite possible that New Zealand doesn’t want to hire a chick who says she’s moving to another country because it is a lot of work to interview, get a work visa, and considered risk. But you know what? Risks are what make a company, and person, better. Look it up.

I took the day off from work today, so I’m going to get in some ESO before going to a Space Jam party. And look up how intense the volunteering has to be before it means I can use that as a reason to get my Visa. Or maybe I’ll just get a green card marriage — that’s still a thing, yes?

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