Anime Trolled

Saturday, I was supposed to meet up with an old friend from college, but he ended up getting ill and we postponed. I had started the day playing Shovel Knight, in where all of my love for MegaMan came alive once more.

APPLE FISH FTW

Thoroughly enjoying myself (and never wanting to ever talk about how many times I died in one particular spot in the Flying Machine level…it was so bad, you guys…I had to shut the 3DS off and play it again today in order to get out of the ridiculous funk I was in), I received the news to change plans and decided to watch the new Sailor Moon instead.

After squeeing at the new intro that included Pluto, I decided to find a new anime to binge on as it had been a while. And thus I came across Kamigami no Asobi. I was watching with interest because explosions and yelling was happening. And then this happened:

MALE SAILOR MOON TRANSFORMATION

Oh, was I so fucking here for that.

Turns out, that wasn’t what was happening at all. After a motherfucking Pegasus came along (How could it go so wrong with a motherfucking Pegasus?! YOU HAD ONE JOB.), and two characters sail off into the center of battle, we cut to an ordinary female during the present, practicing with her bokken. I slowly began to realize that this was going to become an Inuyasha affair, and my thoughts were confirmed when she was transported to some distant land…except that every character introduced then had special sparkles and flowers as backgrounds.

I then began to wonder what I’d gotten myself into. An Inuyasha/dating simulation anime? With Sailor Moon transformations? And Jesus’ abs?

No, it’s an anime about gods from many different regions (Greek, Egyptian, Japanese, etc.) who apparently need to learn about love and human nature. The ones who you wouldn’t think need to learn about that sort of stuff. So, Zeus (why Zeus? Who the fuck knows…or cares…except he of all gods has the most fucked up idea of how love works, if you do your research) decided to set up an academy wherein they learn things like human anatomy and…I don’t know, math? Because they never showed them learning anything. The entire time, they were playing games and doing club activities. There was no substance, I wanted to strangle the main character, Yui, for never having a clue or any real concerns (she was a plot device the whole time), and there wasn’t one motherfucking scene of action the rest of the anime.

So, why, do you ask, did I keep up for 12 episodes? Why would I subject myself to that? To legit nothing happening an entire anime?

Alas, that is the power of a Male Sailor Moon transformation.

When does this EVER happen in anime?! SLIM TO NONE.

Oh my gods, please and thank you. Tell me there’s more.

I kept thinking, “It will be explosions and fighting against doom and shirts busting open on men’s chiseled chests soon. For once in an anime’s life, this will happen without boobs everywhere, and it will stop being boring eventually.”

No. It took until the very last episode for it all to happen. I guess the episode before was supposed to get me all emotional for the characters involved, but there was such an odd combination of shojo/main plot/too many sub-plots/bad writing happening that the direction just couldn’t be accomplished.

This isn’t to say there weren’t some enjoyable aspects. I could tell when the writers began having fun as they’d slip in some witty lines for Hades and his misery. They knew to make fun of having a bunch of male gods going swimming. And my most favorite was probably Thoth with his slamming his fist on the wall while he talked with Yui.

He did this so often that fans say he actually is in love with Wall-Sempai. Which made it even funnier every time it happened.

So, I’m going to pretty much save ya’ll some time. Watch the first episode, then the last episode. Those are the only ones really worth watching, and even then…the action sequences were reused a lot. And some of the gods got shafted on their transformations (cough cough Takeru, Tsukito, and everyone else who didn’t get enough screen time cough cough). And the ending was all lame. At first, I was thinking, “Well, this got dark.” But they went with the extremely happy ending to serve the fangirls instead, so…

To be fair, I did some quick research, and it is based off of an otome game. They did the best they could, I am sure. It makes complete sense because each episode is about getting to know just one guy, and then ignoring him the rest of the show — from the very few dating simulation games I’ve ever played (Hatoful Boyfriend being the absolute best ever), I can see why the show struggled with Yui ever having any real emotions towards what is going on, the connections between characters very thin. They were really trying to transcribe the game into the show, which is very difficult if the main character falls in love. I am sure you focus more on one guy in the game. THE WORLD MAY NEVER KNOW.

Basically, if you’re looking for a story that seems like the above, watch Fruits Basket instead. Fully developed characters, lots of growth, you care about what happens, and plenty of laughter. Plus, the manga is even past the anime, so it doesn’t have to end!

Not a complete waste of time was Wolf Girl and Black Prince. Which was hilarious for me as I kept watching the show and thinking, “Haven’t I seen this before?”

Turns out, I had read the manga ages back. Every time something would happen, I’d remember having read it. Watching it was like chasing down what you hadn’t meant to forget. And it was tough. I get tired of reading the ol’ shojo where the male lead is an asshole, thus that is who she falls in love with. And that the lead lady is quiet takes all of the abuse. While there were some of those problems, it wasn’t that bad. And it was fun to watch a more realistic (in an if-that-were-to-actually-happen kind of way) take on the situation.

I really had to stop grinding my teeth at the typical assholery that happens in those animes in the beginning (and, believe me, there are plenty of situations of top notch assholery), but Erika got decent about letting her feelings be known and not putting up with it. And it felt more legit on Kyoya’s growth. There wasn’t a “And that is just how he is, so let’s accept that.” They both knew that they had to change to make the relationship work. Good change of pace.

However, I’m tapping my fingers on a table while I wait for Orange to update on Crunchy Roll. There isn’t a lot of information out about it yet as it is so new and ongoing, but it is a very interesting read. It’s about a group of friends who figure out a way to reach the past through letters..and they try to use that method to change a terrible event that happened to a best friend during their last year in high school. It brings up questions of whether you want to know the future, ethics in changing the future, parallel universes, and what sacrifices people are willing to make for a possible better outcome. It isn’t a half-assed attempt at something real, there is drama (obviously), and I’ve found myself completely invested in the series. Despite being considered a romance, I’d say the focus is more on friendship. If you get a chance, don’t pass on reading.

I should probably get out of bed this weekend to do something more than binge on anime. To give myself a bit of credit, I did totally put a chicken in the oven, and I also co-wrote a ballad with my bestie about a Wizard Ninja Pirate. I’m not completely useless.

Still totally going to game some more before the day is out, though. SUCK IT.