Today was…a very good day. I felt as if it were all just for me.
I’ll start with that I sold my Blooregard yesterday. I wasn’t planning on it, but as soon as we got her home from the cities, a gentleman came over that works with my father and made an offer. I accepted, then felt this odd shift in the universe of, “By gods, yes, you are officially going to be leaving the country now.” I wasn’t sure whether I should be crying or celebrating or just going to bed until I figured it out.
I chose secret option number four, which was to take a shot of tequila, the secret option for all occasions.
Afterwards, I sat in bed and contemplated where I currently am in life because I’d just sold something I swore to myself ten years ago that I’d never let go. I’d been so sure of who I was then, age eighteen; nothing else mattered in the future because I knew one thing, and that thing was that Bloo was going to be there to take me to my next destination.
I am pretty sure I envisioned that I owned part of the world by age twenty-eight, and that my money had been put to good use on making Bloo not only able to dive like a submarine, but also make her way across space, possibly time. Little did I know I’d have to wait until I was in my nineties for that to happen.
Most of the things I have done thus far to get across seas have been mental, besides the actual walking. Ever since quitting my job, there have been more physical changes. It strangely goes into the idea of “out of sight, out of mind.” I wasn’t seeing anything really happening, thus it all seemed easy to manage. Emotions-wise, I mean. Now I’m seeing what my actions mean. There’s a sense of power behind it, one that I’m unfamiliar with.
Thinking you have the power to change your life and using the power you actually have to do so are different. They may tell you that the game is half mental, that it is two-thirds mental, but it really does even out when you act upon your intentions.
I was telling my parents this afternoon that I wish I’d had the belief in myself as I do now. It wasn’t that I didn’t have the confidence to do anything — I did apply and get in to an Arts High School, get some successful jobs, skydive, etc. — I just didn’t seem to think anything I was interested in was worth more than being a hobby. Now? I wish I’d have done what I am doing now: Just doing it, knowing you can move on if it doesn’t work out.
Life is so much more fun when you allow yourself to be human.
In the early afternoon today, I received a message from my weekend-neighbor (my parents live on a lake where most of our neighbors are cabins) via Facebook connecting me with several other women who are/have been traveling. One in particular lives in Glasgow, and I was keen to meet up with her for advice and to have a connection in the country I will be spending most of my time in. She decided to one-up my thought process abilities and front up offered me her house as a stead during all of my travel time. Period.
I began to cry because who can handle that kindness without their heart feeling as if it will burst like the Grinch learning to love? I hadn’t been prepared, and while it took me off guard, I knew that I couldn’t turn it down. The opportunity to befriend someone like this is not one to be missed.
The other ladies gave me full permission to stalk their Facebook profiles for their travel pictures, and to message with any questions. At least, I assumed this was the offer because I’m now friends with them on Facebook, soooooooooooo…
Immediately after the lovely discovery, my mother was coming home from getting some supplies for dinner to see that a feather puff ball was on top of her swimming shoe on our porch. The puff ball belonged to a weak hummingbird, one of the many we get zooming in and around our house (we have a rather active lot, up to 30 birds at a time on our feeders). It was barely breathing, clutching the shoe and not opening his eyes.
Immediately, I took to nursing, pulling down one of our feeders to see if he’d drink.
“Mum, look up sick hummingbirds,” I said. “Maybe it will have some tips somewhere?”
She started to read an article out loud. “Do not attempt to help the hummingbird. As humans, we tend to make a situation worse. Let nature take its course. Many experts say that a sick hummingbird rarely makes a turn, and it would have to be within the first four hours to make a difference. If the hummingbird does pass away, think of planting a hummingbird favored flower in its memory.”
My eyes began to prickle with tears. He wasn’t really moving beyond heavy breaths.
No, I thought. This has been a day filled with love and trust. He’s going to be great and it will be because of me.
So, ignoring the words of an expert telling me to never interfere with a dying animal, and running the risk of that expert telling me, “I told you so!” in my face, I warmed the hummingbird in my hands while giving easy access to the sugar water.
It took about five minutes of his woozy self to drink the sugar water and open his eyes enough to realize that he was in an odd situation, but unable to do anything about it. I noticed that something was stuck to his wing, so I carefully removed the sticky debris. I realized that it was all wrapped in spider web. As the hummingbird came to, he tried picking himself up, but his leg was also wrapped in sticky debris. I carefully removed that as well.
The poor beauty was so confused, weak, and thirsty!
After a few moments of gaining composure, trying to fly and failing, and another hit of sugar water, he took off to sit in a tree above the feeders, staring down at where he’d collapsed for who knows how long. Many of the other hummingbirds that had been going crazy above us while I’d nursed him flew up to him as if they were asking him whether I should have my eyes gouged out or a friendly look in the face. Eventually, he took off from there.
Moral of the Story: Never listen to experts.
Actual Moral of the Story: Believe and trust in yourself; you’ll get a lot more of good in life that way.
Today was a good day. I felt as if it were all just for me. It was, in a way. A peek into my future.
It looks pretty damn good, if you ask me.